Oh my gosh you’re so right, nonny, how could I prioritize my feelings about the Potter ‘verse over JK Rowling’s when she’s shown herself time and time again to be a racist, heterosexist, ableist, good ally cookie-grubbing prescriptivist.
How very dare I make a tongue in cheek post about refusing to compromise on my headcanon about Dumbledore and Elphias Doge having sex.
How very dare I reject Rowling’s unrealistically cishet canon by making everyone queer (except Ron, cishet people can keep Ron).
How very dare I refuse to knuckle down and really lick boot because JK Rowling outed Dumbledore after the books were all published and the movies were all set but couldn’t be bothered to actually risk anything by making him textually queer.
How very dare I refuse to give her cookies when she deliberately coded Remus and arguably Percy as queer but then kept both of them as textually cishet (just like how she wrote a big fantasy metaphor about racism with blatant Holocaust imagery but couldn’t be fucked to make one of her main characters Jewish, Roma, a POC, disabled, and/or queer).
Man, I’ve just been so utterly disrespectful and unappreciative of everything that JK Rowling’s done for oppressed people with her Potter books by insisting that I know her characters and her universe better than she does. I mean, she only wrote a seven-book treatise on why discrimination, prejudice, and oppression are Very Very Bad with a bunch of thin, white, cishet, able-bodied and neurotypical leads (but oh! one of them is a GIRL!! one of them is a girl who ISN’T LIKE ALL THE OTHER GIRLS BECAUSE HERMIONE READS BOOKS!!!), and a bunch of thin, white, cishet, able-bodied and neurotypical supporting characters (but oh, Dean Thomas, Angelina Johnson, Parvati and Padma Patil, Cho Chang, and Kingsley Shacklebolt exist off in the background RACISM IS OVER THANKS SO MUCH JK ROWLING!!! and so is racialized sexism for that matter because Cho hooked up with two white boys and Angelina hooked up with Fred and then married George YAY RACIALIZED SEXISM IS OVER!), and where it’s totally awesome to bully people who aren’t like you over something that’s not their fault as long as they’re Slytherins.
But yeah, I’m totally the worst person in the world because I refuse to give due worship to incarnate goddess JK Rowling and dare to question how well she really knows what message she was trying to send through her books, not least since her message is really pro-assimilation and against acknowledging the way that oppression actually shapes oppressed people’s lives and perspectives, and not least since she’s kind of a total hypocrite about her message.
Thank you so much for pitying a poor wretch like me and showing me the light by coming and dropping your wanktastic anon hate in my ask box, nonny, I feel like I’ve found Jesus and Mary Magdalene naked in my bed, waiting to give me a birthday threesome. I once was lost but now am found; at last I see the light, and it’s like the fog has lifted; and now I know exactly what my purpose in life is, I must become a fisher of souls and go spread the good word of JK Rowling to the masses!! bless you for saving me from my poor misguided ways, nonny, may your harvest be bountiful and all your dreams come true, you wonderful, compassionate soul!!!
Oh my god the people on this fucking website.